July 27, 2006

I discovered one thing about me that i did not previously know, and if i did then, i was in extreme denial.I'm scared (shitless) of change. Of uncertainty and newness. I'm used to the fake security that comes with employment and the thought that i was gonna (try) run my own business was one i did not want to entertain.

I was excited about my move until i discovered that I'll be out of my tough, and will be playing (my) game in a different playground, that I'm yet to learn the rules on! and that gave me frozen feet, insomnia and migraines...bad recipe for innovation.

Anyway, i gave myself a pep talk (after throwing a tantrum and blaming it on my sweet love). i have to say that by the time i threw the tantrum, i had not figured out what was going on in me, and i thought he was not being very supportive. i then found out that i was not even sure of myself in the first place, or what i needed support in!! Poor man, i subjected him to such misery..

So now I've gathered guts, from all corners of my body, and told myself that when i was born, I'd never been into the world, did not understand the language, and i coped just fine...(i think), so this should not not be any different, especially since now i possess more than basic communication skills.

Oh, and i apologized to sweetheart too. We should all send him medals for handling it so bravely.

;;