Warning, this is a somewhat serious blog.
This blog is in inspired by Red Wine Gum's post.
I have been thinking about friendship and the presence of it in my life. Last week, I 'broke up' with a girlfriend over what I at first I though was trivial, even though I'm the one who walked out of the restaurant and told her it was not worth it. I was tired of being judged and constantly having to defend myself in a friendship. Especially when something happened and she went ahead and made decisions based on what she thought i had done and / or said without asking me what had really happened. To me, a friendship means that I will hear something being said about my friend, or something will happen that my friend is involved in and I will not accuse or make judgments or exclude her / him form decisions until he / she has told me what actually happened.
After that, I went home and really counted my friends.
D is my British friend who I will go over to his house occasionally, He will cook dinner and I will sing on his home karaoke machine. We will have dinner, watch House MD then I will go home. He will call me with his girl problems, he will even call me at 10.00 pm to whine about something at work. 'Mercy's Whining Org, state your whine.' is how i answer my phone every time he calls after 8.00pm. I will wake up and listen...Maybe it's because my significant other is not around a lot so i have time for him.. maybe.
G is a local DJ. I will go over to the club he plays on Wednesdays and Sundays. He will leave the booth and chat a while.. sometimes the club is too full, i will go over, hug him and sit back. Send a couple of drinks to his booth, he will send me sodas to my table. Sometimes i wait until the club closes and we walk to the bus stop at midnight. We walk and laugh.. We go our separate ways.
M is a guy i dated along time ago. We broke up because he was not ready for serious relationship, all he wanted was to have fun. 3 months later, his 'fun' girlfriend got pregnant. After one year of 'come we try' marriage, they broke up. I guess the kid was not part of the fun package he had in mind. I forgave him. and we became very good friends. His baby mama was not happy about the relationship. He told her he was not about end our friendship because she dis not approve. We came to a consensus (no, we did not sit at a round table and have a mature discussion). I was not to visit their house (that was before she moved out). He however said that he will visit my house when he feel like it and she had no control over that. We continued to go for lunches, drinks after work, late night calls when his son was crying endlessly and he had no idea what to do, he called me when his son was running a fever and he had no means to rush him to the hospital. On Valentine's day, he called me at work, told me that he needed to repay a loan he owed me. I went into town with a friend in tow. I was to meet him at my favourite supermarket (yes, i have one!). There he was, chocolates, flowers, wine and a card in hand! 'For you', he said. I never thought of M as the romantic kind, not even when we were dating. I remember buying him chocolate when we were dating only to have him eat all of it with the baby mama (before she was baby mama).
I laughed at him and asked him if he was dating again. He said no, they are for you. I kept on laughing. My pal pointed out that she thought he was serious. Yes he was. I stopped laughing, I took the card first.