Showing posts with label TV shows. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TV shows. Show all posts

4 Aug 2008

I'm coming out of the closet...

no, not that one you pervert. The other one.


Yes, the one without the sign on. You see, I will never open the other one for
other people's sake. Because of the stuff that will come tumbling out, some of which might hit you and give you a concussion the size of Texas, look like this >




We hardly come out of clean closets, otherwise, they'd be no reason to come out. It would not be as fun if we had to come out of such

Thinking about it, i do think I'm NOT coming of that closet. Why? because it's the only place I feel safe. Because just looking at it makes my insides calm. I love order. So much so that it does affect my relationships. Which is the very opposite of my personality, as I thrive on spontaneity. I'm obsessive compulsive. I like my clothes folded in a certain way, I like my shoes arranged in a certain order and i like my movies and books arranged in a certain order. I have colour codes for my bras (and even a men's guide to bras that has been the single post that generates all my blog traffic!).




Chicago, Illinois arrived on "Even Angels Fall....: Men's Guide to Bra sizes"

Bedford, Bedfordshire arrived from images.google.co.uk on "Even Angels Fall....: Men's Guide to Bra sizes"

Irving, Texas arrived on "Even Angels Fall...."

Stockholm, Stockholms Lan left "Even Angels Fall....: Men's Guide to Bra sizes" via bp3.blogger.com

Stockholm, Stockholms Lan arrived on "Even Angels Fall....: Men's Guide to Bra sizes"

Conway, Arkansas arrived on "Even Angels Fall...."

Düsseldorf, Nordrhein-Westfalen arrived on "Even Angels Fall....: Men's Guide to Bra sizes"


and that is based on a slow day!

I went to Banes and Nobles in Santa Monica to buy a few movies. I was in the Series section and for the love of me, I could not find Kyle XY. It looked as if the arranging was done alphabetically from the top shelves, but as i moved towards the middle, the order seemed to have been lost. I think the shop attendants had figured that they could fool you up to about the letter 'F' then throw in all the DVDs haphazardly. I could not stand it. Could not stand see Family Guy right next to House MD and Six Feet Under besides Friends. So i started arranging them. One by one, I put the DVD's in their right places. I did not think it was strange until one of the shop attendants came over and tapped me on the shoulder.

Can I help you, he said.
Yeah, I'm looking for Kyle XY . I said.
For a minute there i thought you were arranging the DVDs. He chuckled
I was. I told him, as a matter of factly.

He looked at me very strangely. I told him i could not stand the DVDs being that disorderly. He thought it was the funniest thing he's ever heard and shared it with the shop manager. After a few jokes, i did actually get Kyle XY and he threw in the TV show, Dexter for free!

DVP, however does not share the sentiments. Not when I kick him out of bed so to re-make it as I cannot sleep in a bed where the sheets are not straight enough. The first time it happened, he thought I was kidding. Before, he would make the bed and I would re-make it. It irritated him, but he learnt to live with the fact that I cannot stand a badly made bed. Now he does not even bother, which drives me mad The same way I cannot stand the fact that OCD is spelt that way. I want. My mind refuses to let O come before C and D. and CDO would do fine for me. Like the way this does just fine for me.

27 May 2008

5 Reasons Australian Scientists are bringing back the Tasmanian Tiger

A while back, i posted somethign about Australian scientists (no, it was about all Australians really). Being the not so creative person i can be on perfectly sunny days that i should, for the love of mankind, be creative, I asked Nate for help.

Nate, one of my favourite humourists does awesome '10-reasons why' posts. They include; 10 different ways to say go f*$k yourself, 10 reasons why Nate's plane was canceled, 10 questions to ask your financial adviser - no, not your wife!. My personal favourite, 10 reasons why Dick Cheney is the perfect Personal Assistant.

So, here goes -

1. They are adding a new team to the Australian Women's Basketball league and need a new mascot.

2. Scientists from around the world are working on bringing back animals their country has driven to extinction. American scientists are bringing back Buffaloes, and German scientists are bringing back Jews.

3. Tired of yuppy tourists in search of cute cuddly animals like koalas and kangaroos, Australian scientists are creating something a little different for Americans to encounter.

4. Overpopulation.

5. Australia's newest reality TV show "Last Tasmanian Tiger Standing"!

25 May 2008

What doesn't go up...

...gets a heart attack.

Little pieces of information that always makes me question why i didn't know about sooner. Not that i have ED, i mean, i don't have to rise, but it would have helped all those men i've been with who had to be rushed to the ER now and then. I've been bragging that it's my bedroom (or kitchen, or shower, against a tree, or back of a taxi) skills that sends them to hospital. I was even thinking of making a warning sign to men who come to my house. It took a while to get my landlord to agree to me installing this one on my door -- seeing as I'm a good citizen and considerate neighbour, what with mine being the most desired area in the city. Unlike my next door neighbour Kevin(a), who takes all her activities to the streets down below, i like to give ample warning.
I emphasize on her as she reads my blog and would want to keep our nonexistent friendship going. The last time we got onto a fight on about her waste disposal habits, i found this nice note stuck on my door.



Now, threatening to take away my womanhood is bad enough threat, but given that i come from Africa where that might be viewed as a good thing - makes me more docile, they say (bastards!!) - but making me white? That is one serious threat. Which is why I'm not messing with her.

Where was I? Oh yeah - installing signs. After sending about 5 men to the ER, it's only fair that i re-consider my bedroom tactics. I'm taking a hint from my Irish friends


and working on this:


It's still on the concept stage, do not fuss about the design and balance in elements. Why Hollywood, you ask? because they are having too much over there and every one pretends that they don't know the cause of the California fires. Don't believe me? Nicole Kidman can prove it --
Also, If I'm to do one with an African theme, my good intentions will be misconstrued to mean this

and no, I'm not talking about foreign aids.

Looks like i wont have to work on that sign anymore. Because i have been told that it's not my performance that has them looking for this guy --

It has come to my attention that men with failure to launch problems, who do not rise to the occasion, meaning that they bow when they should be saluting have a higher chances of getting a heart attack.



Does that mean that all those unused little workers in the sacs grow old, die and become cholesterol which is stored around the heart?hmm.



I did my duty and bought this plant for one of my 'failures' for his hospital room. It was the least i could do. If i never noticed that he was not 'up' to it, i surely must take part of the blame. I figured that if he kept it watered, seeing it rise and bloom might give him hope.

Which made me think. Does lack of sex cause heart attack too?

20 Feb 2008

My Addiction

My friends will tell you that if I had one wish, it would be to make David Shore and Hugh Laurie live longer. You wanna know why?

House: Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning. This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board certified diagnostician with a double specialty of infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this hospital who is forced to be here against his will. That is true, isn't it? But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine! You can't have any! And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem... but who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me?

Cameron: Is that the woman you use to live with?
House: No, that's her Indian name.

"...there's no I in 'team'. There is a me, though, if you jumble it up."

House: “Are you a fan of symmetry?”
Young Doctor: “Sure.”
House: “Weird, because your eyes are lopsided. And by eyes I mean breasts.”

Dr. Eric Foreman: Chase, stop.
Dr. Robert Chase: [stops]
Dr. Gregory House: How'd you get him trained so fast? Electronic collar? Got dog treats in your pocket?


"There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is --- in fact --- a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20 feet between love and hate."


I think you get it now. And i hope you agree that I need therapy (and the Complete Season 4 DVD, complete with Extras). I found this treatment...