Bet you didn't know that I'm a serial killer...

...of all things funny.I claim I have a humour blog and even go as far as advertising it as such but every one knows i can't tell a joke to a 2 year old. I'm the kind that tells a joke and the garbage takes itself out. Yes. It walks away, preferring to be out there in the cold street, than listen to...

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Little girls doing business

From: liiliumh2@yahoo.co.jpDear,My name is Ms.Lillian Umah,I am a little girl,I have an inheritance from my Sick Mother to invest in your country,pls i want u to stand as father of business in claiming the money,the amount is $6.400,000 Million US Dollars.your reply will give you the full details.Thanks.Ms...

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Oh Come On!!

After watching CNN and the story on Down Under scientists and working my knickers in a twist (hard to do if you don't wear them to begin with), I spend hours digging dirt on OZ as my journalism lecturer taught me. Ok, i was not present for the lecture but my pal >>who attended all lectures, who...

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5 Reasons Australian Scientists are bringing back the Tasmanian Tiger

A while back, i posted somethign about Australian scientists (no, it was about all Australians really). Being the not so creative person i can be on perfectly sunny days that i should, for the love of mankind, be creative, I asked Nate for help.Nate, one of my favourite humourists does awesome '10-reasons why' posts. They include; 10 different ways to say go f*$k yourself, 10 reasons why Nate's...

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You've always wanted to know

what makes me tick. How cool that it had to come, not from within me, but from Outside My brain.Off you to discover. and thank him while you are at it, for giving you this precious opportunity to get an inch closer to knowing me.Why are you still reading this? GO!This is where you should be goi...

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What doesn't go up...

...gets a heart attack.Little pieces of information that always makes me question why i didn't know about sooner. Not that i have ED, i mean, i don't have to rise, but it would have helped all those men i've been with who had to be rushed to the ER now and then. I've been bragging that it's my bedroom...

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Why Manchester United?

... because even the Loch Ness monster recognizes their greatness.He was seen doing this to the all the Manchester United Haters.Go Lochy. I feel you m...

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Life's Little Lessons

A man is being chased by a lion in the jungle.As he gets tired and feels he can't run anymore he stands still and prays.'GOD WOULD YOU PLEASE MAKE THISLION A CHRISTIAN!'As requested, God makes the lion a Christian. As it reaches him, the lion kneels down and prays;'THANK YOU LORD FOR PROVIDING THISMEAL....

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How to give it hard... and perfectly.

The following instructions are designed to help you perfect your skills at flipping that finger out and saving yourself from considerable embarrassment that arises from lack of the proper fingering technique. Remember, it's not the size of the weapon that matters, it's what you do with it.1. Extend...

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How to get picked up by wierdos...

...get dreadlocks.Seriously, not even giving your real email address or instant messenger ID gets you more perverts that having dreadlocks.I've had my dreadlocks for almost 2 years now, and i have to say, despite them being a life saver when it comes to salon time and money, and going a great way in helping me get ready about half an hour faster than my female counterparts, it has somewhat been the...

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No, I will not date that cabbage

Yesterday i went for dinner at my friend D. No much whining done yesterday - from either side. Okay, i did. Said i was lonely. Part of what got me invited for that dinner in the first place. Could have told him that I was too lazy to cook, or that my fridge had a something that used to be edible, now looks like it's going to crawl out of the refrigerator soon.. with a whole clan in tow. No, had to...

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What's wrong with Australian Scientists?

No publicity is bad publicity. Ask Paris Hilton. Ok, bad advice, she'll probably tell you how dressing a chihuahua in an outfit matches yours is the best way to get on CNN. or sleeping with someone else's husband, or DUI, or making a reality show on all the above.But all that will be good ways of getting...

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Tables Judge Profession

My profile is still active on the dating site i met DVP, but modified. Today i logged in to about 10 messages waiting. This is hilarious!Subject: hi, From: The Hungarian Man Date: 15-May-08 Message: Hello baby,I see that you realy are manager...

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You know you need to leave the office (or do some work) when...

... you suddenly discover that it is actually weird that you are becoming acquainted with a bug you've been seeing on your in-tray and not done anything about for over a we...

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Men's Guide to Bra sizes

A friend of my boyfriend forwarded this a while back. Thought I' should share - for the sake of all my men readers out the...

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The Presence of friendship

Warning, this is a somewhat serious blog.This blog is in inspired by Red Wine Gum's post.I have been thinking about friendship and the presence of it in my life. Last week, I 'broke up' with a girlfriend over what I at first I though was trivial, even though I'm the one who walked out of the restaurant and told her it was not worth it. I was tired of being judged and constantly having to defend myself...

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Am I fat??

Today I stood on the tiny weight scale in our office. Why we have one in the first place beats me. I think my boss is trying to tell us something. And the fact that it is conveniently put near the tea / coffee table, that is next to the staff refrigerator says a lot too. Everyday I stand next to it...

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How (not) to Die

Call me a sadist but sometimes some tragic events are almost laughable. Take for instance, the Kenyan boy who a chopper crashed on in Canada on his way to the post office. I mean, out of all the people that live in Cranbrook, B.C., those walking on that road that day, the chopper had to burst in flames directly over and crashland - and on the day he was going to mail a letter - in this day and age...

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Pregnant teenager? Pointless Banters Contest

I was going through Pointless Banter's pages and came across a contest. I love contests, especially since i never win any. So why do I love them, because I get to fantasize endlessly on the winning speech I'll give one day.This one in particular was asking the reader to post an answer to those hard hitting questions that teenagers send to Seventeen Magazine. It went like this:Q: “What is the best...

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My (Wonder)ful Bank

I moved to Barclays Bank a few months ago, only because it sounded more international than 'The Bank Around the Corner'. OK, there is no such a bank but there will be if the current trend of naming bank in Kenya continues.Barclays managed to convince me to get a credit card after years for refusing...

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