13 Aug 2008

Why I'm not sending my son to Boy Scout

Boy Scouts Letter to Mom & Dad --

Dear Mom and Dad,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw
the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our
tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us
got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for
Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He
can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the
search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found
Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone
without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was
during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know
that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some
of our clothes. Jimmie is going to look weird until his hair
grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus
fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked
okay when we left. Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that
old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably
why he can't get insurance.

We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty and
if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets
pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take
turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped
and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good
driver. In fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the
mountain roads where there isn't any cops. All we ever see up
there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and
swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me
because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because
of his cast, it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster,
so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see
some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't
even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of
time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When
Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a
tourniquet works.

Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably
was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they
got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he
got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out
how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By
the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and
buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are
fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.



Scoutmaster Keith spends his nights here

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