Where Have I been?

So I have been MIA from my blog for over a month. I have been trying to recover. I would tell you where I have been, but the media captured it way better.

BREAKING NEWS

Dateline Saturday January 07, 2009

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Myrtle Beach

Kenya Woman Abducted By Aliens

Myrtle Beach, South Carolina resident Dark Angel was recently found wandering by a ranger in the state forest. According to ranger Tom Rickelsohn, she appeared to be in a daze and kept repeating "Best worst I ever had". Upon further questioning it was determined that Ms. Angel had gone camping thirty three days previously, and thought it was the following day. Unable to account for the thirty three days, Ms. Angel was taken to Myrtle Beach General Hospital where she underwent a battery of tests to determine the cause of her apparent confusion.

Ms. Angel's physical examination turned up no clues, although she complained of some soreness during her nasal examination. Ms. Angel was also subjected to a battery of psychiatric tests which also turned up no clues, although the examining psychiatrist was overheard mumbling "dumber than a cinder block" as he left the examination room.

Local UFO investigator Peter Smithwyche heard about this case and contacted Ms. Angel who agreed to meet with him. After a brief interview, it was decided that hypnotism might unlock the secrets of those missing 33 days. Mr. Smithwyche called in a registered hypnotist, Dr. Marie Galson to place Ms. Angel in a hypnotic trance for questioning. The following is an excerpt from the transcript of that session:

Dr. Galson: What are you doing now?

Ms. Angel: Drinkin' beer and eatin' smores.

Dr. Galson: Describe the area.

Ms. Angel: Trees, campfire, lake. Dere are bright lights coming across da lake. Dey stop over me. I'm goin' up into da light.

Dr. Galson: What happened next?

Ms. Angel: I am floatin' inta some kinda examinatin room. I have no contol over my body. Dey are bendin' me over some kinda table.

Dr. Galson: Who are they?

Ms. Angel: Small grey men wit big eyes. Lotsa dem, an' dey all nekkid as jaybirds! OWWW! DAT HURTS!

Dr. Galson: What hurts?

Ms. Angel: My nose! OWWW! OWWW! No Stop! OWWW! Stop! OWW! OOHH! Don' Stop!

The session transcript continues on much like this for several hours. Was Dark Angel really abducted by aliens? And if so, what did they hope to find? Or was Ms. Angel just in an alcoholic blackout for thrity three days? To her credit, she did produce a this picture that she claimed she found next to her when she woke up.

We've presented the evidence - the answer is for you to decide.

Story by Remik Johnson

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Ooh! You fell off the chair! Sorry about that. Anyway, I have been setting up something that i hope works out. And it will with your help.... my Ebay Store!

Tell yah' it aint easy!

We also get abducted here

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I've been exposed

No, not my after hours activities. Those are still a well guarded secret. No, I'm not telling you. I will not tell you in a box, with a fox, and do not tempt me with Courtney Cox, not if the fox were Courtney Cox. But since that is not the case, get away from my face. Yes, even Johnny Bravo is quotable.

My blog has been getting exposure. Yep! other people have actually realized that I exist. It's quite a shock for me as I did not think anyone (on earth) reads whatever I put on this blog. I do know that my trusted friends at that land where men are supposedly from do read it occasionally. They recently sent me a picture of their President receiving my RSS feed, which I thought it was only fair that I share.

I have been told that my blog has a calming effect, and such scenes have not been witnessed since they started picking up on my blog.

Instead, they have been working in a campaign to encourage me to move there

because they heard that I do 'go all the way.' No idea what they are trying to imply. Hey, I'm not easy, what give you the right....grumble grumble grumble.

I got a call telling me that some journalist would like to interview me in regards to my blog. Reluctantly, I agreed. I find questions like ' Why do you blog?' as irrelevant as 'Why do you sleep?' though I was very nice to her. The interview was shown on CNBC Africa. Another Kenyan blogger who was on the same show blogged about it and mentioned me over here. I will be posting an extract of that interview here soon (soon in Angel's language could mean years.)

JC (No, not Jesus Christ) picked me up too. I had no towel not did I raise my thumb, (if you don't know what that means go hang yourself. Seriously. Now!!) but somehow, she is featuring this fallen angel on her blog. I also noticed that Angelika has been visiting in the dead of night to peek at my codes!

So there, the Dark Angel has been getting exposure- of the good kind. If you've exposed me somewhere, let me know, I'll talk about you!

Almost forgot, I've also been exposed here!

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