I personally do not think i should be let to write, especially for the sake of other people's sanity and this is what some website thought of my blog?
Other not so genius blogger hide out over here
Other not so genius blogger hide out over here
23 Jun 2008
17 Jun 2008
For the second time..
...I am a godmother. Yes, there are people out there who would not only let me within touching distance to their children, they put their children's life in the line of fire by making me a guardian - just in case they (parents) do what I'll tell you in a few minutes. The world has become such a bad place, I'm now being considered a good influence to babies. The reward? I get to spoil other people's children while pretending that they're mine, and get give them back when they start
competing with wolves at night. During the day, new baby Ry looks like this (actual picture of Ry - pretending to be - asleep)>>>
And during the night, he sounds something like this...
...without the musical notes and not nearly as delightful as the moon, notwithstanding the fact the Baby Ry was less than 36 hours when he making that (utterly awful) sound. I just had a thought. To punish Simon Cowell, (for reasons unbeknown to me. It just sounds nice - punish and Simon Cowell in the same sentence), some idle producer with money to waste (also called Ryan Seacrest) should produce a reality show called ' Baby's Got Talent', and have Simon judge it. And to make it even better, he should judge it all by himself.
Babies do not understand any Earth language and any Cowellism would be wasted on them. It's come to my absent attention that he already has strategies to insult them more than he does with adults, and instead of saying thing like -
Oh, babies and godmothers...
Also, i get to bring them up if their parents decide that they've had enough and go jump from the Hollywood sign. Yes, when i have such thoughts about my friends, I make them as glamorous as possible. Helps kill the guilt. This is specially made even more dramatic, considering how hard it is to get a US visa if you are Kenyan - or any other country that sounds like it could be close to Africa, like Mongolia. Not to make fun of the conditions, but i did, at one time, think that Mongoloids are people from Mongolia. Wonder if they have a US embassy in Mongolia? Mmh, gotta check. Even when you are going to see family, you have to prove that your parents who are in the US of A can also support you, and if they are citizens by virtue of Green card, forget it about that visa. If being a citizen on Green card is that bad, why give them out in the first place? I don't have much love for the US, largely to do with their foreign policies, supported by the most ignorant people this earth has the unfortunate task of housing.
Of course there's those few that are ashamed to be called Uncle Sam's products, and have stepped out of their fucking ignorance and come down their stupid plastic high horses... and those are mighty jolly good fellows to be with and around. I have never gotten over a fellow blogger chatting me on yahoo meesager and expressing his astonishment at the fact that i know how to use a computer.. and that we actually do have computers here.
This post was meant to be a tribute to baby Ry...
More on Simon Cowell / Denise Richards / Seacrest's new show here
competing with wolves at night. During the day, new baby Ry looks like this (actual picture of Ry - pretending to be - asleep)>>>And during the night, he sounds something like this...
...without the musical notes and not nearly as delightful as the moon, notwithstanding the fact the Baby Ry was less than 36 hours when he making that (utterly awful) sound. I just had a thought. To punish Simon Cowell, (for reasons unbeknown to me. It just sounds nice - punish and Simon Cowell in the same sentence), some idle producer with money to waste (also called Ryan Seacrest) should produce a reality show called ' Baby's Got Talent', and have Simon judge it. And to make it even better, he should judge it all by himself.
Babies do not understand any Earth language and any Cowellism would be wasted on them. It's come to my absent attention that he already has strategies to insult them more than he does with adults, and instead of saying thing like - "I applaud you that you didn't do a ballad, which I would have expected. However, it was a little bit like a Chihuahua trying to be a tiger, insomuch as it's not really you."
How so ever creative. He has taken an incredibly, utterly forgettable sign and made it his own. Round one goes to Cowell. I would watch that show. It would replace this guy as my favourite man of all time,
who apparently has this huge airstrip on top of his head.
Oh, babies and godmothers...
Also, i get to bring them up if their parents decide that they've had enough and go jump from the Hollywood sign. Yes, when i have such thoughts about my friends, I make them as glamorous as possible. Helps kill the guilt. This is specially made even more dramatic, considering how hard it is to get a US visa if you are Kenyan - or any other country that sounds like it could be close to Africa, like Mongolia. Not to make fun of the conditions, but i did, at one time, think that Mongoloids are people from Mongolia. Wonder if they have a US embassy in Mongolia? Mmh, gotta check. Even when you are going to see family, you have to prove that your parents who are in the US of A can also support you, and if they are citizens by virtue of Green card, forget it about that visa. If being a citizen on Green card is that bad, why give them out in the first place? I don't have much love for the US, largely to do with their foreign policies, supported by the most ignorant people this earth has the unfortunate task of housing.
Of course there's those few that are ashamed to be called Uncle Sam's products, and have stepped out of their fucking ignorance and come down their stupid plastic high horses... and those are mighty jolly good fellows to be with and around. I have never gotten over a fellow blogger chatting me on yahoo meesager and expressing his astonishment at the fact that i know how to use a computer.. and that we actually do have computers here.
This post was meant to be a tribute to baby Ry...
More on Simon Cowell / Denise Richards / Seacrest's new show here
11 Jun 2008
Wordless Wednesday
Just so we're clear...before we get so far,
6 Jun 2008
Two for the road...
That is why a firewall is important.
Save this one for Sunday
Have a fab weekend!
Save this one for Sunday
Have a fab weekend!
I'm an unsatisfied woman
So I went to a store that sells husbands where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So I walk in.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
I read the sign and say to myself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up I go.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
I remark to myself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up I go again.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
"Hmmm, better" I say. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"
The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.
"Wow!" I exclaim, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again I head up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.
"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor I go.
The sixth floor sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
This post was inspired by The Journey Man before i stole it and posted it here.
There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So I walk in.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
I read the sign and say to myself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up I go.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
I remark to myself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up I go again.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
"Hmmm, better" I say. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"
The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.
"Wow!" I exclaim, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again I head up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.
"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor I go.
The sixth floor sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
This post was inspired by The Journey Man before i stole it and posted it here.
I don't mind being a fluffer...
...if you will support me. No I do not want you to stage a demonstration. Although something like this in my honour i would not say no to.
I know a couple of guys tried to do that in for me (bless them).
I know you are dying to find out if i went out on that date. Well, just drop dead.
Back to fluffing. I know, i know, you can scroll back and stare later. This is obviously directed to the females and gays here. As for the rest, you can hate and move on. I do allow hatin' here as long as it is founded. A man hatin on another very hot man is okay...he got what you'll never have. I know you are also interested to know who I'm fluffing, you dirty minded <insert insult here>
I just discovered No nofollow movement. When I really want to understand something, i ask a person to explain it to me like I'm a 5-year old. It works. you should try and credit me while at it.
So I'm going to do the same with you.
Somewhere in your html is a gnome that adds a 'nofollow' extension to all posting on your blog from external sources. Yep, all those comments and links backs that other very nice bloggers leave you are considered aliens in your blog.
We all, (okay, most of us) want other people to comment on our blogs, even when we have said nothing important. (all words between 'our blogs' and 'nothing important' were typed under hypnosis by the 'nofollow' demons).
Commenting on other people's blogs helps you establish external links to your blog, which i heard is good for your blog's rankings, for those who care about rankings. Those who blog just to be heard, you might want to be heard by more people...i think, i don't know really.
If you're worried about spamming, you can remove the 'no follow' on the comments and not on backlinks. Bearing in mind that my departed goldfish Brian (see here why he is departed) was my Personal Assistant as he had a higher memory capacity than i have, I will stop pretending to give you and take you to the real teacher. Yes, I'm fluffing the teacher. Off you go for your lesson on 'no follow'.
Oh, before you go, (i hated it when my teacher said that) something for all Blogger users:
Did you know that posting a comment using Google/ Blogger ID does not help you get a link back to your blog? No sire! It links back to your Blogger Profile which is really useless. (well, not all that useless). So, next time you post a comment, and you come to the 'Choose Identity' part, ignore the Google/ Blogger, ignore the Open ID associated BS and select Name / URL. That enables you to key in your blog url... cool huh? I'm sure there are instructions for wordpress users somewhere, i just wasn't bothered to look. Sorry guys.
Homework - leave me a comment, lets see if you understood the above. I will visit you and give you extra coaching, (if you know what i mean)
So, that it for today. I have actually given advice on blogging! I will name this day a holiday for all Dark Angel's descendants.
Now go!
I know a couple of guys tried to do that in for me (bless them).
I know you are dying to find out if i went out on that date. Well, just drop dead.Back to fluffing. I know, i know, you can scroll back and stare later. This is obviously directed to the females and gays here. As for the rest, you can hate and move on. I do allow hatin' here as long as it is founded. A man hatin on another very hot man is okay...he got what you'll never have. I know you are also interested to know who I'm fluffing, you dirty minded <insert insult here>
I just discovered No nofollow movement. When I really want to understand something, i ask a person to explain it to me like I'm a 5-year old. It works. you should try and credit me while at it.
So I'm going to do the same with you.
Somewhere in your html is a gnome that adds a 'nofollow' extension to all posting on your blog from external sources. Yep, all those comments and links backs that other very nice bloggers leave you are considered aliens in your blog.
We all, (okay, most of us) want other people to comment on our blogs, even when we have said nothing important. (all words between 'our blogs' and 'nothing important' were typed under hypnosis by the 'nofollow' demons).
Commenting on other people's blogs helps you establish external links to your blog, which i heard is good for your blog's rankings, for those who care about rankings. Those who blog just to be heard, you might want to be heard by more people...i think, i don't know really.
If you're worried about spamming, you can remove the 'no follow' on the comments and not on backlinks. Bearing in mind that my departed goldfish Brian (see here why he is departed) was my Personal Assistant as he had a higher memory capacity than i have, I will stop pretending to give you and take you to the real teacher. Yes, I'm fluffing the teacher. Off you go for your lesson on 'no follow'.
Oh, before you go, (i hated it when my teacher said that) something for all Blogger users:
Did you know that posting a comment using Google/ Blogger ID does not help you get a link back to your blog? No sire! It links back to your Blogger Profile which is really useless. (well, not all that useless). So, next time you post a comment, and you come to the 'Choose Identity' part, ignore the Google/ Blogger, ignore the Open ID associated BS and select Name / URL. That enables you to key in your blog url... cool huh? I'm sure there are instructions for wordpress users somewhere, i just wasn't bothered to look. Sorry guys.
Homework - leave me a comment, lets see if you understood the above. I will visit you and give you extra coaching, (if you know what i mean)
So, that it for today. I have actually given advice on blogging! I will name this day a holiday for all Dark Angel's descendants.
Now go!
