21 May 2008

How to get picked up by wierdos...

...get dreadlocks.

Seriously, not even giving your real email address or instant messenger ID gets you more perverts that having dreadlocks.

I've had my dreadlocks for almost 2 years now, and i have to say, despite them being a life saver when it comes to salon time and money, and going a great way in helping me get ready about half an hour faster than my female counterparts, it has somewhat been the bane of my existence.

I get in to a bus and this guy slides on the seat next to mine. I can see by the look in his eyes that he is going to talk to me, and secretly thank heavens for my Ipod. No, that does not deter him. He pokes me. Not the Facebook kind of poke. The annoying one-finger-digging-into-your-arm kind of poke. I removed my earphones and gave him my best this-better-important-or-I'll throw-you-off-this-bus-look

Are those real?, he asked, pointing to my locks. Yes, i said and put my back my earphones. Seconds later, another poke. Yes? He asked - How long have you had them?.

Two years. Do you mind?
I said indicating to my earphones.

Just wanted to tell you that they are really good. I like them. Calmly, i replied -Thank you. With a sigh of relief that my dreadlocks were not about to be the next big Kenyan attraction, went back to my music.

Five seconds later...

I almost screamt..

Wanted to ask your name. He said.

I'm not going to tell you my name, not now, not ever, not even if you and came back as two piles of cowdung in our next life! I told him. Now, please, leave me alone!

Another one scenario:

In a grocery store, I'm the secondin line. Three guys stand in front of me. They are waiting for change from the cashier.They start talking about my locks, loud enough for me to hear. One pokes me (I'll get poke-holes on my body at this rate)

I turn look up - with a not so welcoming look. I know i have a stare that even my viking is scared of.

What? I ask

Not so harsh rasta lady. just wanted to tell you that your locks are hot. Then goes ahead to take one and wrap it around his fingers.

Excuse me? I snap. You shameless jerk!

He apologizes...with a snigger. I turn to the grocery store lady, whose been watching.

I ask for my bread (which is what i wanted) Hair shampoo and conditioner. Charge the shampoo to this nice youngman, i tell her.

Gladly, she responds. And I walk out. The jerks are complaining. But she still has their change and it's enough to pay for both my shampoo and conditioner.

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