June 06, 2008

That is why a firewall is important.

Save this one for Sunday

Have a fab weekend!

So I went to a store that sells husbands where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So I walk in.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
I read the sign and say to myself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up I go.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

I remark to myself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up I go again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" I say. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" I exclaim, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again I head up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor I go.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

This post was inspired by The Journey Man before i stole it and posted it here.

...if you will support me. No I do not want you to stage a demonstration. Although something like this in my honour i would not say no to.

I know a couple of guys tried to do that in for me (bless them).

I know you are dying to find out if i went out on that date. Well, just drop dead.

Back to fluffing. I know, i know, you can scroll back and stare later. This is obviously directed to the females and gays here. As for the rest, you can hate and move on. I do allow hatin' here as long as it is founded. A man hatin on another very hot man is okay...he got what you'll never have. I know you are also interested to know who I'm fluffing, you dirty minded <insert insult here>

I just discovered No nofollow movement. When I really want to understand something, i ask a person to explain it to me like I'm a 5-year old. It works. you should try and credit me while at it.

So I'm going to do the same with you.

Somewhere in your html is a gnome that adds a 'nofollow' extension to all posting on your blog from external sources. Yep, all those comments and links backs that other very nice bloggers leave you are considered aliens in your blog.

We all, (okay, most of us) want other people to comment on our blogs, even when we have said nothing important. (all words between 'our blogs' and 'nothing important' were typed under hypnosis by the 'nofollow' demons).

Commenting on other people's blogs helps you establish external links to your blog, which i heard is good for your blog's rankings, for those who care about rankings. Those who blog just to be heard, you might want to be heard by more people...i think, i don't know really.

If you're worried about spamming, you can remove the 'no follow' on the comments and not on backlinks. Bearing in mind that my departed goldfish Brian (see here why he is departed) was my Personal Assistant as he had a higher memory capacity than i have, I will stop pretending to give you and take you to the real teacher. Yes, I'm fluffing the teacher. Off you go for your lesson on 'no follow'.

Oh, before you go, (i hated it when my teacher said that) something for all Blogger users:

Did you know that posting a comment using Google/ Blogger ID does not help you get a link back to your blog? No sire! It links back to your Blogger Profile which is really useless. (well, not all that useless). So, next time you post a comment, and you come to the 'Choose Identity' part, ignore the Google/ Blogger, ignore the Open ID associated BS and select Name / URL. That enables you to key in your blog url... cool huh? I'm sure there are instructions for wordpress users somewhere, i just wasn't bothered to look. Sorry guys.

Homework - leave me a comment, lets see if you understood the above. I will visit you and give you extra coaching, (if you know what i mean)

So, that it for today. I have actually given advice on blogging! I will name this day a holiday for all Dark Angel's descendants.

Now go!

When I steal..

... I do let you know that I have. Today's post is stolen from a funny guy Papua New Guinea. Yep, I go that far.

Here goes...

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn’t keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but direction-less. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and am looking for a girl with big tits.