8 Aug 2008

What I Want

Such a thing as you is heat that sends my wanting, and me with barely a taste, but to imagine a touch of the divine warmth. One word, less a talk of attraction and it's prevailing want is flown in me. The thought of being wrapped in you quickens me…pulls all my attentions to that end. To the illusions of you pressed and pushing, a flooding of two, too close, and trying for more…the heat pours and pulses, pushes quickens.


You say burnt out? Only, perhaps, momentarily in the afterglow of you laid out…and…with patient touch…felt, freely…tasted…teased, and then…the headfirst tip into that fires slow burn. Intertwined the delights dance with anticipations flicker. Then…worked for…pushed and pounded at, realized by the fanning breath of feeling expectation realized…explodes into now. Hearts opened, the desires wet realization soothing the flames want-full heat, for…perhaps…a moment. Before the pull of that friction starts to turn with the promise of that cleansing and consuming flame.


I want you to leave me breathless. And not even be aware that I had been holding my breath. Then in my mind’s eye I will see it, I will see you but I dare not and will will myself to not see... us. And my heartbeat will quicken, so much so that I will fear that others will hear it, start to notice that my chest is rising and falling, not ever-so-gently, but with movements that could only come from excitement deep within places untold.


I will feel a spark ignite, falter, unsure at first, holding back… yet I will feel its warmth, willing to be let out, wishing to explore, wanting, needing. Then fell the warmth develop to a bigger ember, deep within my stomach and spreading...fast. Wonder whether I should fight it, or let it stretch, let it become a wildfire, that would be unstoppable, that would consume everything on its way that would leave me quenched, fulfilled and satiated. But the strength to fight it is what will elude me, or maybe I just won't want to.


All I will want is to keep this need to feel, to have, to know. I will dare not look at the aftermath, dare not think what comes next. I will want to bask in that heat that you speak of…the heat that I feel, the heat that burns the deepest parts of me, the heats that leaves me wanting, craving, writhing in want to be filled, to be possessed, deep, over and over again, and then left dizzy and spinning. I will want not know where it ends and where it begins, where chocolate meets vanilla and only want to know of when all is visible is one; one that moves in unison, giving, taking, receiving, filling, pleasing, pleasuring immensely, incomprehensibly.

5 Aug 2008

Why So Serious?

I have no relationship with him. I have never met, and now, never will. I would not have called myself a fan. And if you had asked me some of the people I would have loved to meet in my lifetime, he probably would not have been one of them.

But

Yesterday, I cried for him. From the minute he came on screen, my eyes welled with tears. My heart skipped a beat, failed to go back to the usual tempo, smashed wildly against my ribs. No one seemed to feel what i was feeling then. Even my movie date observed that my reaction was very visible upon seeing him.

And

I cried some more. The recurring image I have of him is masses of blond curly hair, disarming smile and forever pools of chocolate eyes. His work is brilliant, picking roles that portray fights and struggles against the public to rise beyond.

Then

I thought about his last performance. The sheer brilliance and execution of talent unmatched and unrivalled. The ability to become another human being, step out of yourself to embrace and become a spirit so dark the night folds away in fear of it.

Yet

Be able to epitomise that in a way that surpasses people's understanding, and still be able to see you as the person that you are- shy, beautiful of soul and of face, talented and still so unpretentious.

I cried some more, when the credits rolled. The theatre hushed and i could feel my thoughts mingle with the rest of the audience. He's gone and that is what he left us with - an epically brilliant performance never to be duplicated or even equalled.

Today

I went and added my signature to the petition to nominate Heath for an Oscar- because it would be just wrong if he didn't!


and a tribute to him:

How can I then return in happy plight,
That am debarre'd the benefit of rest?
When day's oppression is not eas'd by night,
But day by night and night by day oppress'd,
And each, though enemies to either's reign,
Do in consent shake hands to torture me,
The one by toil, the other to complain
How far I toil, still farther off from thee.
I tell the day, to please him thou art bright,
And dost him grace when clouds do blot the heaven:
So flatter I the swart-complexion'd night,
When sparkling stars twire not thou gild'st the even.
But day doth daily draw my sorrows longer,
And night doth nightly make grief's length seem stronger.



Today even here does not make me smile.

4 Aug 2008

I'm coming out of the closet...

no, not that one you pervert. The other one.


Yes, the one without the sign on. You see, I will never open the other one for
other people's sake. Because of the stuff that will come tumbling out, some of which might hit you and give you a concussion the size of Texas, look like this >




We hardly come out of clean closets, otherwise, they'd be no reason to come out. It would not be as fun if we had to come out of such

Thinking about it, i do think I'm NOT coming of that closet. Why? because it's the only place I feel safe. Because just looking at it makes my insides calm. I love order. So much so that it does affect my relationships. Which is the very opposite of my personality, as I thrive on spontaneity. I'm obsessive compulsive. I like my clothes folded in a certain way, I like my shoes arranged in a certain order and i like my movies and books arranged in a certain order. I have colour codes for my bras (and even a men's guide to bras that has been the single post that generates all my blog traffic!).




Chicago, Illinois arrived on "Even Angels Fall....: Men's Guide to Bra sizes"

Bedford, Bedfordshire arrived from images.google.co.uk on "Even Angels Fall....: Men's Guide to Bra sizes"

Irving, Texas arrived on "Even Angels Fall...."

Stockholm, Stockholms Lan left "Even Angels Fall....: Men's Guide to Bra sizes" via bp3.blogger.com

Stockholm, Stockholms Lan arrived on "Even Angels Fall....: Men's Guide to Bra sizes"

Conway, Arkansas arrived on "Even Angels Fall...."

Düsseldorf, Nordrhein-Westfalen arrived on "Even Angels Fall....: Men's Guide to Bra sizes"


and that is based on a slow day!

I went to Banes and Nobles in Santa Monica to buy a few movies. I was in the Series section and for the love of me, I could not find Kyle XY. It looked as if the arranging was done alphabetically from the top shelves, but as i moved towards the middle, the order seemed to have been lost. I think the shop attendants had figured that they could fool you up to about the letter 'F' then throw in all the DVDs haphazardly. I could not stand it. Could not stand see Family Guy right next to House MD and Six Feet Under besides Friends. So i started arranging them. One by one, I put the DVD's in their right places. I did not think it was strange until one of the shop attendants came over and tapped me on the shoulder.

Can I help you, he said.
Yeah, I'm looking for Kyle XY . I said.
For a minute there i thought you were arranging the DVDs. He chuckled
I was. I told him, as a matter of factly.

He looked at me very strangely. I told him i could not stand the DVDs being that disorderly. He thought it was the funniest thing he's ever heard and shared it with the shop manager. After a few jokes, i did actually get Kyle XY and he threw in the TV show, Dexter for free!

DVP, however does not share the sentiments. Not when I kick him out of bed so to re-make it as I cannot sleep in a bed where the sheets are not straight enough. The first time it happened, he thought I was kidding. Before, he would make the bed and I would re-make it. It irritated him, but he learnt to live with the fact that I cannot stand a badly made bed. Now he does not even bother, which drives me mad The same way I cannot stand the fact that OCD is spelt that way. I want. My mind refuses to let O come before C and D. and CDO would do fine for me. Like the way this does just fine for me.

30 Jul 2008

Wordless Wednesday


Seriosuly hoping that someone else helps her kids with their homkework! or they will have to be taught by him!

16 Jul 2008

Satan shared with me...

I got this in my inbox today. If I was religious, this would convince me to be an atheist. What bull! I have added my thought in italics...

DARK LETTER

A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN
I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores. ((damn! So that way you?)

You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals, or
pray before going to bed last night. You are so unthankful, I like that about you. (maybe I thought it??)

I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living, Fool, you are mine. Remember, you and I have been going steady for years, and I still don't love you yet. (I know, you are in it for the kids)

As a matter of fact, I hate you, because I hate God. (I see the connection)

He kicked me out of heaven, and I'm going to use you as long as possible to pay him back. (Oh, that was not the connection I was talking about. But that's understandable too. Pick a fight with the mortal, when you want to et back at the immortal. Smart move)

You see, Fool, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store for you. But you have yielded your life to me, and I'm going to make your life a living hell. (Oh come on, that's where all the fun is!)

That way, we'll be together twice. (Swu-e-t)

This will really hurt God. Thanks to you, I'm really showing Him who's boss in your life with all of the good times we've had. (How about I be boss of my own life?)

We have been watching dirty movies, (I knew there was something a bit off with the movie - Saving Ryan's Privates and Forrest Hump - could not place it though)
cursing people out, (what the fuck are you talking about?? )
stealing, (But i said i stole!)
lying, being hypocritical,
fornicating, (That is using my phone right? I see no problem with that!)
overeating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, (Then I won't tell you why the blonde crossed the road!)(but her husband ran away with the maid and the daughter is sleeping with her mother's ex- boyfriend! -- I think that is with my cousin's wife's brother said!) being judgmental, back stabbing people, you mean this?. (You mean this?)

disrespecting adults,
and those in leadership positions, surely, this aint one of those -


no respect for the Church, bad attitudes.

SURELY you don't want to give all this up. Come on, Fool, let's burn together forever. I've got some hot plans for us. This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you. I'd like to say "THANKS" for letting me use you for most of your foolish life.

You are so gullible, I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in. HA HA HA, you make me sick. (How can i make you sick if you love it when I sin?)

Sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years older, (I look 44 years old? wow!)
and now, I need new blood.
So go ahead and teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or drink while under-aged, (If i look 40, the its okay to drink...aint it?)
cheat, gamble, gossip, fornicate, and live being as selfish as possible.

I actually give up attempting to comment!

Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that. Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess your sins, and live for God with what little bit of life that you have left.

It's not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, it's becoming a bit ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I still hate you.

IT'S JUST THAT YOU'D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.

P.S. If you love me, you won't share this.

Signed: Satan

I'm having dinner with him here!!

11 Jul 2008

I admit I'm Cheap

Stop looking at me like that, so are you! If you walked into a shop and you came across a sign that gave you the option to get stuff for free or to buy them, you'd 150% go for the free option. We always look at the hobos in a funny way (not funny ha-ha) when they hold their little signs to us or wave their tip cups towards us, but what we don't know is that they are way better than us.

They have the courage to show the world that they are not willing to work for a thing and still want to live in the same world as you. They can get up each morning , go to the same spot everyday and shove their cups in your face, whether you insulted, ignored or sneered at them yesterday and the days before that. Now that is what I call courage. It's what I call knowing what you want and going for it. Looking the world in the eye, telling it to go Fornicate Under the Consent of the King with itself. I do not condone laziness, but the mere fact that they make the effort to stand on that corner, day in day out, and talk you into giving them money, or the fact that they actually got that little sign drawn means that they are creative. Seriously, even if you were hit with all the ingeniousness of the world, poured into you in buckets, i bet you would not think of this!

I'm talking about award winning signs!



More still...


You gotta give it to these guys! Creative Directors at Ad Agencies should be going to them for ideas, would save us the audience those horrible TV commercial we have to endure. Something i noticed while researching on hobos... they effing have a website! Now, how on earth do they access the internet? Forgive my ignorance... actually, don't... This website has all their signs, art, meetings dates and even a grapevine! I don't even want to think about what the grapevine contains. That is waste of perfectly recyclable thoughts.

So me cheap woman, came across a website that was giving stuff away for free. They were - ok, still are - giving away an Ipod Nano. I have an Ipod Classic (but do i say?) but a couple of my friends do not. I do not want to get this Ipod Nano for them becasue i love them. uh-uh. It's because i love my ipod so much and getting such texts on my phone is beginning to really annoy me!

Hey Dark, Sorry about loosing your house to the hurricane. Could I borrow your Ipod today?
To win this Ipod, I have to write the contest. I don't know what to say about it..except that it is a contest by two very idle bloggers. They are competing to see who gets the most RSS feed subscribers. My advise to them would be to talk to me nicely so that i can show them by who is my picking my Rss feed and how to get theirs picked too.

The contest is here, and i think they are giving away money too.

Meanwhile, this is the sign I'll be holding if i don't win



Other hobos meet here too.

8 Jul 2008

The Incredibly Hulky Thoughts...

WARNING - Nudity ahead. (for about 2 seconds depending on how fast you scroll)

I'm an avid movie goer, no, scratch that, I'm a movie whore. I got to every movie that opens in our theaters, regardless whether it premiered anywhere. I will watch anything that has a moving image. I will sit through that horrible film and throw popcorn at the couple necking in front of me and / or concentrate on picking out as much product placement as I can. I cannot believe that some people i know thought this is what product placement is...


Anyway, I will spot the continuity problems (because my first job in the film industry was a Continuity Girl before being demoted to a Production Manager. You can see my job description here.)

I will let you know before I go very far in this movie critique-wannabe, that I have a notorious reputation of falling asleep even before the black guy dies. And if you watch movies a lot, you will know that the black guy dies even before the opening credits finish. I only fall asleep while watching movies in the house, usually after making Lars / cat / teddy bear/ or whoever i am with to watch a movie they would rather not watch or has watched it countless times before me. Sometimes, I have seen the black guy die even before the establishing shots are over. On extreme cases, he dies on the montage and never makes it to the main movie. I'm not complaining. No, not at all. If they kept the black guy for a minute longer he might realize how silly the whole movie is and walk away anyway. Rumour has it that Will Smith arranged the filming of a secret ending of I Am Legend after he learnt that he was going to 'live happily ever after.' He had his boys film that last scene where he blows himself up, edited it and delivered it to the producers. They had no option than to change the ending of the movie as he refused to shoot their end version. Beat that!

Sometimes, when I stay awake long enough, I will notice things that the Director did not have in mind as one of the things to be noticed by the audience. Ever wondered why the bad guys will always miss hitting the Hero in a shoot-out but it will only take the Hero one shot to gun one down? Are these the best shooters the main bad guy could afford? Really? How comes the bad guys will always wait in line to attack the the hero and watch as he kills them one by one like a bunch of scared 3rd graders ? In real life, don't they all just come down on you? 400 pounds of muscle? EACH??

Real Life.



Movies


Yeah...

I finally went to watch the Incredible Hulk. I'm an Ed Norton fan, I think he never ages which never seizes to baffle me. Or maybe I'm just blind to the world of make-up, but doesn't that boy look younger with every role he plays?

I've always wondered, why is that when Banner becomes Hulk, his shirts gets ripped off into shreds threads yet his trousers are left decent enough? I know it's a comic that is watched by kids but even Superman has the decency to show us that he puts on the cape under his clothes. Spidey, on the other hand, does use his world-saving costume as his 'So you think you can dance' practise sessions.

For a while, our lovely hero went emo. Otherwise why would he change his costume to black? hear you disagreeing. I don't think it was a fashion statement.

At least, not this>>>


There are however, things that I wish would just go emo.


This where I'm leaning how to be Emo