14 May 2008

If I loose 50kgs..

I'm in relationship that everyone thinks is the funniest thing ever, George Bush excluded. My boyfriend lives closer to the North Pole than to me, and like the holidays, I get to see him once a year. If you ask me, that is the perfect relationship. I just unlocked the door to the obscure and confusing world of relationships. I get to spend close to 8 months analyzing what he did during those four months that we are together, and by the time I'm done, I have forgotten exactly which situation pissed me off the most and he gets to spend 8 months forgetting how bitchy I was half of those 4 months. No, not really...He spend the 8 months birdwatching, occasionally calling me to check whether is till remember his name. I love him, do not doubt that. Though lately i have been questioning how realist i am being when it comes to my love life. Never before has 'love life' sounded so real - I mean, that's all we have. A love...

Thinking is one thing I do not enjoying doing, especially about my life. It always leaves me confused. How I'm i supposed to solve situations if I'm the one who got in to them in the first place. Doesn't the fact that i got into those situations mean that I'm not a good judge at all? A while back, I fell in love (or landed in the mucky stuff purporting to be love) and moved towns to be with the one. A few months, we discovered that we are as compatible as a shark and a dolphin - guess which one i was. So in packed my bags and moved back to my town. When I was not looking for love, it hit me in the face, left me for dead, and when woke up, i had a concussion the size of Texas...oh, and in love. It's a good idea to familiarize yourself with a situation, especially one that is know for making people 'fall in and out of'. I was getting round to doing that, when the Danish viking left (not me, the country. But that also means that he left me. In the case of relationships, i understand that if i say he left me - it means he did away with the relationship. No, not at all. He left me, but not really left me. See what i said about me thinking?). After pillaging and raping - all with verbal, and sometimes pleaded consent, in case you were getting worried.

So why I'm i in this relationship you ask? Ok, you probably don't have the guts to ask me but you are thinking it. Becasue of such text messages:

Boyfriend: Blah Blah..i'm 110% into our relationship, i wnat it to work bcoz i want you and us..

Me: Wonder what the 10% more is.. Love you too

Boyfriend: The 10% is when my schlong grows hard (of course he did not call it that)

Me: Does it grow by 10% really?

Boyfriend: Yes! of the total body weight.

I was still laughing when this came in

Boyfriend: If i loose 50 kgs.

Now, isn't that what relationships should be made of?

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