14 May 2008

Pregnant teenager? Pointless Banters Contest

I was going through Pointless Banter's pages and came across a contest. I love contests, especially since i never win any. So why do I love them, because I get to fantasize endlessly on the winning speech I'll give one day.

This one in particular was asking the reader to post an answer to those hard hitting questions that teenagers send to Seventeen Magazine. It went like this:

Q: “What is the best way to let my mom know I’m pregnant?”

My response...

Dear confused pregnant teenager,

Unless your mother is the crazy, psychotic non-understanding type, she will definitely understand this one.You could tell her-

Mommy, i have something important to tell you. Danny and I were studying in the bedroom. We were setting up our apparatus for the Biology experiment. I was noticing that his apparatus kept growing huge and mine kept leaking. Suddenly, i tripped and fell coz the floor was now very wet. I hit Danny, who fell on top of me. Our apparatus got tangled on to each other. Every time i tried to get up, Danny pushed me down. He looked like he was in a lot of pain so i let him stay there for a while. Mom, you should have seen the expression on his face. After a few minuets, though it seemed shorter than that to me, his howled - like a dog does to the moon, only the dog sounds better - and collapsed on me. I think he got tired of trying to extricate himself. Funnily, his apparatus grew really small and it slid out.

You were parking the car by then , i did not think it was important to bother you with that. Plus Danny said it happens a lot during biology studies.

Do you think I'd have won the $25 gift voucher?

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