25 May 2008

What doesn't go up...

...gets a heart attack.

Little pieces of information that always makes me question why i didn't know about sooner. Not that i have ED, i mean, i don't have to rise, but it would have helped all those men i've been with who had to be rushed to the ER now and then. I've been bragging that it's my bedroom (or kitchen, or shower, against a tree, or back of a taxi) skills that sends them to hospital. I was even thinking of making a warning sign to men who come to my house. It took a while to get my landlord to agree to me installing this one on my door -- seeing as I'm a good citizen and considerate neighbour, what with mine being the most desired area in the city. Unlike my next door neighbour Kevin(a), who takes all her activities to the streets down below, i like to give ample warning.
I emphasize on her as she reads my blog and would want to keep our nonexistent friendship going. The last time we got onto a fight on about her waste disposal habits, i found this nice note stuck on my door.

Now, threatening to take away my womanhood is bad enough threat, but given that i come from Africa where that might be viewed as a good thing - makes me more docile, they say (bastards!!) - but making me white? That is one serious threat. Which is why I'm not messing with her.

Where was I? Oh yeah - installing signs. After sending about 5 men to the ER, it's only fair that i re-consider my bedroom tactics. I'm taking a hint from my Irish friends

and working on this:

It's still on the concept stage, do not fuss about the design and balance in elements. Why Hollywood, you ask? because they are having too much over there and every one pretends that they don't know the cause of the California fires. Don't believe me? Nicole Kidman can prove it --
Also, If I'm to do one with an African theme, my good intentions will be misconstrued to mean this

and no, I'm not talking about foreign aids.

Looks like i wont have to work on that sign anymore. Because i have been told that it's not my performance that has them looking for this guy --

It has come to my attention that men with failure to launch problems, who do not rise to the occasion, meaning that they bow when they should be saluting have a higher chances of getting a heart attack.

Does that mean that all those unused little workers in the sacs grow old, die and become cholesterol which is stored around the heart?hmm.

I did my duty and bought this plant for one of my 'failures' for his hospital room. It was the least i could do. If i never noticed that he was not 'up' to it, i surely must take part of the blame. I figured that if he kept it watered, seeing it rise and bloom might give him hope.

Which made me think. Does lack of sex cause heart attack too?

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