30 Jul 2008

Wordless Wednesday

Seriosuly hoping that someone else helps her kids with their homkework! or they will have to be taught by him!

16 Jul 2008

Satan shared with me...

I got this in my inbox today. If I was religious, this would convince me to be an atheist. What bull! I have added my thought in italics...


I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores. ((damn! So that way you?)

You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals, or
pray before going to bed last night. You are so unthankful, I like that about you. (maybe I thought it??)

I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living, Fool, you are mine. Remember, you and I have been going steady for years, and I still don't love you yet. (I know, you are in it for the kids)

As a matter of fact, I hate you, because I hate God. (I see the connection)

He kicked me out of heaven, and I'm going to use you as long as possible to pay him back. (Oh, that was not the connection I was talking about. But that's understandable too. Pick a fight with the mortal, when you want to et back at the immortal. Smart move)

You see, Fool, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store for you. But you have yielded your life to me, and I'm going to make your life a living hell. (Oh come on, that's where all the fun is!)

That way, we'll be together twice. (Swu-e-t)

This will really hurt God. Thanks to you, I'm really showing Him who's boss in your life with all of the good times we've had. (How about I be boss of my own life?)

We have been watching dirty movies, (I knew there was something a bit off with the movie - Saving Ryan's Privates and Forrest Hump - could not place it though)
cursing people out, (what the fuck are you talking about?? )
stealing, (But i said i stole!)
lying, being hypocritical,
fornicating, (That is using my phone right? I see no problem with that!)
overeating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, (Then I won't tell you why the blonde crossed the road!)(but her husband ran away with the maid and the daughter is sleeping with her mother's ex- boyfriend! -- I think that is with my cousin's wife's brother said!) being judgmental, back stabbing people, you mean this?. (You mean this?)

disrespecting adults,
and those in leadership positions, surely, this aint one of those -

no respect for the Church, bad attitudes.

SURELY you don't want to give all this up. Come on, Fool, let's burn together forever. I've got some hot plans for us. This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you. I'd like to say "THANKS" for letting me use you for most of your foolish life.

You are so gullible, I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in. HA HA HA, you make me sick. (How can i make you sick if you love it when I sin?)

Sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years older, (I look 44 years old? wow!)
and now, I need new blood.
So go ahead and teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, get drunk or drink while under-aged, (If i look 40, the its okay to drink...aint it?)
cheat, gamble, gossip, fornicate, and live being as selfish as possible.

I actually give up attempting to comment!

Do all of this in the presence of children and they will do it too. Kids are like that. Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess your sins, and live for God with what little bit of life that you have left.

It's not my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, it's becoming a bit ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I still hate you.


P.S. If you love me, you won't share this.

Signed: Satan

I'm having dinner with him here!!

11 Jul 2008

I admit I'm Cheap

Stop looking at me like that, so are you! If you walked into a shop and you came across a sign that gave you the option to get stuff for free or to buy them, you'd 150% go for the free option. We always look at the hobos in a funny way (not funny ha-ha) when they hold their little signs to us or wave their tip cups towards us, but what we don't know is that they are way better than us.

They have the courage to show the world that they are not willing to work for a thing and still want to live in the same world as you. They can get up each morning , go to the same spot everyday and shove their cups in your face, whether you insulted, ignored or sneered at them yesterday and the days before that. Now that is what I call courage. It's what I call knowing what you want and going for it. Looking the world in the eye, telling it to go Fornicate Under the Consent of the King with itself. I do not condone laziness, but the mere fact that they make the effort to stand on that corner, day in day out, and talk you into giving them money, or the fact that they actually got that little sign drawn means that they are creative. Seriously, even if you were hit with all the ingeniousness of the world, poured into you in buckets, i bet you would not think of this!

I'm talking about award winning signs!

More still...

You gotta give it to these guys! Creative Directors at Ad Agencies should be going to them for ideas, would save us the audience those horrible TV commercial we have to endure. Something i noticed while researching on hobos... they effing have a website! Now, how on earth do they access the internet? Forgive my ignorance... actually, don't... This website has all their signs, art, meetings dates and even a grapevine! I don't even want to think about what the grapevine contains. That is waste of perfectly recyclable thoughts.

So me cheap woman, came across a website that was giving stuff away for free. They were - ok, still are - giving away an Ipod Nano. I have an Ipod Classic (but do i say?) but a couple of my friends do not. I do not want to get this Ipod Nano for them becasue i love them. uh-uh. It's because i love my ipod so much and getting such texts on my phone is beginning to really annoy me!

Hey Dark, Sorry about loosing your house to the hurricane. Could I borrow your Ipod today?
To win this Ipod, I have to write the contest. I don't know what to say about it..except that it is a contest by two very idle bloggers. They are competing to see who gets the most RSS feed subscribers. My advise to them would be to talk to me nicely so that i can show them by who is my picking my Rss feed and how to get theirs picked too.

The contest is here, and i think they are giving away money too.

Meanwhile, this is the sign I'll be holding if i don't win

Other hobos meet here too.

8 Jul 2008

The Incredibly Hulky Thoughts...

WARNING - Nudity ahead. (for about 2 seconds depending on how fast you scroll)

I'm an avid movie goer, no, scratch that, I'm a movie whore. I got to every movie that opens in our theaters, regardless whether it premiered anywhere. I will watch anything that has a moving image. I will sit through that horrible film and throw popcorn at the couple necking in front of me and / or concentrate on picking out as much product placement as I can. I cannot believe that some people i know thought this is what product placement is...

Anyway, I will spot the continuity problems (because my first job in the film industry was a Continuity Girl before being demoted to a Production Manager. You can see my job description here.)

I will let you know before I go very far in this movie critique-wannabe, that I have a notorious reputation of falling asleep even before the black guy dies. And if you watch movies a lot, you will know that the black guy dies even before the opening credits finish. I only fall asleep while watching movies in the house, usually after making Lars / cat / teddy bear/ or whoever i am with to watch a movie they would rather not watch or has watched it countless times before me. Sometimes, I have seen the black guy die even before the establishing shots are over. On extreme cases, he dies on the montage and never makes it to the main movie. I'm not complaining. No, not at all. If they kept the black guy for a minute longer he might realize how silly the whole movie is and walk away anyway. Rumour has it that Will Smith arranged the filming of a secret ending of I Am Legend after he learnt that he was going to 'live happily ever after.' He had his boys film that last scene where he blows himself up, edited it and delivered it to the producers. They had no option than to change the ending of the movie as he refused to shoot their end version. Beat that!

Sometimes, when I stay awake long enough, I will notice things that the Director did not have in mind as one of the things to be noticed by the audience. Ever wondered why the bad guys will always miss hitting the Hero in a shoot-out but it will only take the Hero one shot to gun one down? Are these the best shooters the main bad guy could afford? Really? How comes the bad guys will always wait in line to attack the the hero and watch as he kills them one by one like a bunch of scared 3rd graders ? In real life, don't they all just come down on you? 400 pounds of muscle? EACH??

Real Life.



I finally went to watch the Incredible Hulk. I'm an Ed Norton fan, I think he never ages which never seizes to baffle me. Or maybe I'm just blind to the world of make-up, but doesn't that boy look younger with every role he plays?

I've always wondered, why is that when Banner becomes Hulk, his shirts gets ripped off into shreds threads yet his trousers are left decent enough? I know it's a comic that is watched by kids but even Superman has the decency to show us that he puts on the cape under his clothes. Spidey, on the other hand, does use his world-saving costume as his 'So you think you can dance' practise sessions.

For a while, our lovely hero went emo. Otherwise why would he change his costume to black? hear you disagreeing. I don't think it was a fashion statement.

At least, not this>>>

There are however, things that I wish would just go emo.

This where I'm leaning how to be Emo

3 Jul 2008

I've been exposed

No, not my after hours activities. Those are still a well guarded secret. No, I'm not telling you. I will not tell you in a box, with a fox, and do not tempt me with Courtney Cox, not if the fox were Courtney Cox. But since that is not the case, get away from my face. Yes, even Johnny Bravo is quotable.

My blog has been getting exposure. Yep! other people have actually realized that I exist. It's quite a shock for me as I did not think anyone (on earth) reads whatever I put on this blog. I do know that my trusted friends at that land where men are supposedly from do read it occasionally. They recently sent me a picture of their President receiving my RSS feed, which I thought it was only fair that I share.

I have been told that my blog has a calming effect, and such scenes have not been witnessed since they started picking up on my blog.

Instead, they have been working in a campaign to encourage me to move there

because they heard that I do 'go all the way.' No idea what they are trying to imply. Hey, I'm not easy, what give you the right....grumble grumble grumble.

I got a call telling me that some journalist would like to interview me in regards to my blog. Reluctantly, I agreed. I find questions like ' Why do you blog?' as irrelevant as 'Why do you sleep?' though I was very nice to her. The interview was shown on CNBC Africa. Another Kenyan blogger who was on the same show blogged about it and mentioned me over here. I will be posting an extract of that interview here soon (soon in Angel's language could mean years.)

JC (No, not Jesus Christ) picked me up too. I had no towel not did I raise my thumb, (if you don't know what that means go hang yourself. Seriously. Now!!) but somehow, she is featuring this fallen angel on her blog. I also noticed that Angelika has been visiting in the dead of night to peek at my codes!

So there, the Dark Angel has been getting exposure- of the good kind. If you've exposed me somewhere, let me know, I'll talk about you!

Almost forgot, I've also been exposed here!